Monday, 20 October 2014


It's the first time in my life I don't know what to do.

I've always gone after what I wanted.  When I lock my sights on something, even the seemingly impossible, nothing stops me from getting it.  If I ever found myself in front of a closed door, I would knock at first to give them a fighting chance before breaking it down completely.  I am all or nothing.

She’s gone and I let her go.  I know I had the power within me to stop her, but I didn't.  If anything happens to her, I know it is on me.

When it comes to my Mate I don't feel in control.  I have never felt like this before, she feels part of me in a way I cannot describe.

Call it survival instinct.  Call it self-preservation.  But if I started talking I don't know if I would stop.  If I reached out and grabbed her I wouldn't be able to stop myself from mapping every part of her body.  

So to stay in control I say nothing.  I do nothing.

Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions.  I watch as she disappears into the crowd without looking back and I know I am paying the price for my hesitation.

Now it's all to play for.  Nothing is certain anymore.  The only certainty I know is that she and I have an appointment dictated by divine timing and free will alone will determine the outcome.

If the Natural Laws of Sensio include second chances, I will grab it and her with both hands and never let her go again.  She is mine.  She is my Mate.  And I will love her until my last breath leaves my body. 

“She visits in dreams but never when called,

 I feel I know her, yet bond not formed,

How will I know if the Heaven’s align?

Perhaps when my heart is no longer mine”